The Breakthrough Year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

I'm so excited about this year!  This is the year of breakthrough!  You all know that I had some major transitions occur in my life this past year - losing 100 lbs, finding my inner strength, conquering fears!  This year, I'm going for it!  All of it!  I'm preparing for greatness this year and I hope you are too!

The workouts will continue with my fantastic trainer, Admiral Fitt, TV shows, motivational speaking tours and so much more!  I may even go back to France and enjoy the sun, the beaches, the wine and the culture!

I've been through a lot this past year, but it's helped me to become a stronger, more confident woman.  I've been tested, pushed and challenged.  Trust me, there have been LOTS of tears!  And, along with the weight loss, I've been getting more attention from the opposite sex, which is great - either my booty is looking better or my confidence is screaming out!  I'd like to think it was both!

I know that I'll have much to discuss with you this year, so please stay tuned!  I also hope a great man will come into the picture as well!  We'll see...

Time to conquer!

The Answer I Need to Reveal!

Thank you to the anonymous person who asked me a very important question about my journey.  I should be a little more detailed about every aspect. 

When dealing with my mental and emotional issues, I have to be patient with myself.  I know that being stressed about situations (such as the scale not moving when I need it to, financial issues - if they come up or craving the company of a man) I can't go running to the refrigerator.  I handle my challenges in a way that I never have before.  I actually DO something!  I've actually become one of those people who use exercise to relieve stress - but not just any exercise.  I box!  I LOVE boxing!  And I'm such a girlie girl so it's really hard for my family to comprehend that Crissy boxes!  It's something about putting those gloves on a getting in front of a bag and relieving my stress onto this bag!  I punch, kick and sometimes scream depending on the force I use.

I also journal.  I try to write several times a week about what's going on in my head.  Most of the things I write about gets to be repetitive because I'm so focused on getting this weight off!  I write a lot about what I'd like to be doing, what I will be doing, how I'm handling my physical hurts, finding the courage to continue on and knowing that all of this is going to pay off!  I also try to meditate.  This also may sound a little crazy, but to get my mind off of getting something to eat, I watch the Food Network!  It actually calms my cravings! 

I am a virgin by choice.  I used to think that no man wanted to be with me - no relationship, nothing.  I thought they just wanted to be my friend (I used to always hear the saying that men and women can't be friends w/out benefits - Huh! Call me!  I can vouch!!!)!  I now understand that it wasn't about them not asking me out or wanting to be with me, it was about me and me not appreciating my body and who I am as an individual.  I hated my big behind, fat ankles and big droopy breasts.  I thought if I didn't like all of that, what man would?!  Now, I appreciate EVERY part of my body - fat ankles and all (they are disappearing though - Lol!)  I am loving me now and I know that I need to treat myself like I love me.  When the right man comes my way, he may have to carry a sign to flash in front of my face that he's interested, but at least I'll know how I want, need and deserved to be treated! 

I realize that God has blessed me with the strength to take better care of myself!  I was given a warning with the diagnoses of my pre-diabetes.  It was a MAJOR wake-up call.  I said that I refuse to live on this earth taking tons of pills or shots for the rest of my life when I know that I can do something about it!  I AM PHYSICALLY CAPABLE!!!!  Now, it's not my pre-diabetes anymore, it's going outta here!  I want nothing to do with it!  I also realize that I can do my two loves now - be in front of the camera and speak to those all over the globe about loving yourself more, appreciating what you have and keeping a very strong heart and body which will help you keep a very strong and healthy mind!  It really is important for your own sake.

I hope I was able to answer your question Anonymous.  I'll continue to share my ups and downs, highs and lows on this blog.  I appreciate you and thank you for your support!

The Long Hard Road!

When I decided to take this journey to lose weight and take better care of myself, I knew it wasn't going to be easy.  I've been going through some "major pains" and it's taking everything within me to not run across the Mojave Desert screaming!!!!  Although, running in the desert could probably get off more weight!

My ultimate weight goal is between 135 - 145 pounds.  My goal for this 40th birth year is to lose 100lbs.  I need to be 240lbs by October 28th.  Right now, I'm 260lbs.  I'm 80lbs down and have 20 more to go!  I'm not saying that's not a huge accomplishment since the end of November, but I honestly thought that I would have surpassed that 100 pound goal by this time.

I have been working out 6 days a week, sometimes, twice a day since March (before that, I was working out about 3-4 days a week).  I have not eaten sugar since October 2010.  Carbs, only a few a couple of times a month.  Now, I will admit that during some social gatherings, I will have wine.  Wine is sugar and I know it can interfere with my metabolism, so I've only had it a few times. I'm not really missing junk food, however, I am missing carbs!  This may sound a little crazy, but in order to help me through my food cravings, I watch the Food Network.  One show in particular, "Diners, Drive-ins & Dives".  Watching Guy Fieri eat the mashed potatoes, sandwiches, pasta, mexican, macaroni & cheese, desserts, etc. really helps me - I don't know, but it does!

When I get on the scale, I expect to see a number that is going to make me smile, not get even more frustrated!  Normally, I don't advise people to really watch the scale, but to feel it in their clothes or measure themselves in inches.  I do watch the scale because I want these pre-diabetic symptoms to go AWAY for good!  I know that I'm supposed to decrease my weight by a certain percentage in order for these symptoms to release themselves from me.  It frustrates me beyond belief when I know that I'm working hard, eating clean and staying focused, but the scale still won't move in the right direction!  I'm stressed, frustrated and angry that I'm not where I want or need to be at this moment!  And, if I don't like what's going on with me right now, how's a man going to like what's going on with me?!  I've got to get a grip! 

I guess I'm trying to HOLD ON to the thought of where I want to be as far as my weight is concerned, how I'd like to feel, what I'd like to wear and be able to do some of the things that I really want to do!  I've got to re-group and focus on what's really important.  Stress gets me nowhere - it only makes my stomach bigger (from my cortisol levels) and keeps the weight on.  Meditation is going to have to be a primary part of my daily regimen.

Working on my weight is not just working on my weight.  It's working on my mental and emotional levels as well.  The journey is just that - a journey.  I'm not going to lie - I'll be SO happy when I reach my weight goals! 

I'm going to the gym...

Keep Moving!

It's been a very long journey and it's not over yet!  I have to admit that I can't wait until I've reached that 100 pound mark!  I've lost 80 pounds to date and have 20 more to go by October 28th!  I'm eager to move forward in life, enjoying the benefits of being healthier, thinner and physically fit!  Let's all continue to motivate each other! 

Incredible Show Today!

Today's radio show was awesome!  I had five of the most amazing women on sharing their stories about weight loss - their trials, tribulations and triumphs!  I must say, I truly admire these women!  Please listen to these amazing stories!!!!  http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drandrea/2011/07/27/fit-sexy-empowered-for-life-wdr-andrea-crystal-smith.

Our conversation is not done!  I am going to have these women back on the show next week, so definitely tune in! 

Losing weight is an obstacle.  I should've listened to my Mom growing up.  I wouldn't be in this battle, but I'm here and definitely learning a lesson!  As an adult, I'm learning so much about food, our bodies and how food affects it, exercise and the kinds of exercise that are actually going to enhance the weight loss and how to cope with the mental and emotional aspects of the challenging part of life!

Keep moving and getting strong mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually!  Eventually, the weight will release itself from you - for good!!!

No Fear

I've been confronted with some mental and emotional issues during this weight loss journey.  Before I share, I'm so proud to say that I'm now down 75lbs - weight now at 260!

This has been a very long and emotional road.  As you know, it was a fear issue that got me really serious about losing weight.  When I found out back in October that I was pre-diabetic, I was scared!  I knew that I had to get this weight off of my body and stop playing with the fact of doing a "wanna be" weight loss regimen.  The goal was to reverse these diabetic symptoms and stay healthy for life!  I've noticed that even with 75lbs off of my body, I still get symptoms every once in awhile.  I don't want to come to any conclusions until I see my doctor, but I know that I'm fighting hard every single day to do the right thing for my health for once in my life!

Now is not the time to get scared.  Now is the time to get my thoughts together, stay positive, continue to eat right, exercise and stay on my journey for life!  I know that these symptoms will reverse.  I know that I'm getting healthier and stronger every day!  I'm determined!  Yes, I will get my blood tested to make sure my blood sugar levels are okay, but I know that I have to take care of my health!  No one else lives in this body besides me and my maker.

Do me a favor?  Stay healthy!  Do what you know you need to do in life to keep your body strong.  It will not only help you physically, but it will help you mentally, spiritually and emotionally.  It is a blessing!  And what more can you ask for than to be strong and healthy so you too can be a blessing to others!

Loving You? No, Loving Me!

Now that I'm losing all of this weight (which by the way, I'm down 70lbs now - yeah!), I'm not only looking at my physical body, noticing all of the changes, but I'm also digging deep into my mental and emotional issues as well.

I'm feeling more confident about myself.  I don't have to grab my shirt and pull it down in the back every five minutes to try to hide the hump that usually clings to my shirt and reveals more to the world than I wish.  When I go to the gym, I wear form fitting workout gear now.  No more baggy shirts!  I want to see my body!  Now, I'm not a size 6, but I am the smallest I've been since I was 20-years-old.  To date, I am 265lbs!  I have 30lbs left to achieve my goal of 100lbs lost by my 41st birthday!  I WILL get there and then some!  My final weight goal I'd like to be between 135-150lbs.

I went to Lane Bryant this weekend looking for an outfit for an event I have to go to this week and usually, my shirts are 22-24.  I grabbed a 18-20 and a 14-16 (just to see how far away I am from wearing this size).  The 14-16 top was actually baggy on me!!!  It's a stretchy material, but WHO CARES - IT FITS GREAT!  My pants (both jeans and dress pants), I usually wear a 26-28.  I can proudly say that I'm now comfortably wearing a size 20!  I am focused and will continue this weight release!

As far as my mental and emotional levels of comfort, let me just say, I was tested a few weeks ago.  I know I told you that I have only loved two men in my life besides my Dad.  Both of these men I've known for years.  Well, one of my best girlfriends was in town a few weeks ago and we met up for lunch.  She hadn't seen me since I started my journey and was extremely surprised and happy to see my accomplishments.  Where we met for lunch was an area that I stayed away from for several years because it was an area that I used to frequent with this man that I cared so much about (talk about fear).  My friendship with this man was pretty good in the beginning.  He was my first true love and trust me, he meant so much to me that he could've got all my goodies!  It was almost like I was back in high school once again.  Remember those feelings of excitement, butterflies in the stomach, wondering if he's thinking about you all day like you were thinking about him, well, that was me.  The only problem with that was, it was only me.  He didn't feel the same way I did.  He was even honest and told me that he just wanted to be friends, but I would listen to my heart and then some of our friends would co-sign on what my heart was telling me, so I fell right in.  Needless to say, it didn't turn out the way I wanted.

During lunch with my girlfriend, I just didn't feel comfortable.  I was thinking what would happen if I saw him again?  When I was at home or at the gym, I was cool because I wasn't anywhere near him.  I would say to myself that I probably wouldn't see him again, but if I did, I'd be okay.  What?!  What do you mean that you thought you'd be okay?  How could a human being have such a hold on another human being's heart?!  It's a lot deeper than that.  I had to realize that no one has a hold on you unless YOU allow it!  Crystal, you are stronger and better than that!  You've come a LONG way and no matter who it is that has affected you in the past or will become a part of your future, understand that they need to be happy that they are with you!  Sure, don't let the ego get the best of you, but you love you and you are blessed, so rock it!

Any way, while my girlfriend and I were in this area, guess who I bumped into after 6 years?  You guessed it! After the hot flash past me by, it turned out to be a very good reunion!  He definitely noticed the weight loss and breast reduction (LOL)!  Being around him made it feel like "the good" old times.  It was really nice seeing him again.  We hugged and it reminded me of that security I felt with him in the past, but I had to realize that it's just a friendly hug that I give to all of my friends and that I am secure within myself!  Time to move forward!  Now all is right in the world.

I speak and try hard to stay positive everyday.  I want my subconscious to know that I'm a beautiful strong individual that's conquering fears from my past and ready to conquer my career and continue to move forward in helping others strive to achieve their purpose in life!  It was good seeing the man that I loved for so long again.  I know that when God blesses me with the right man, I'll know!  He'll see me and accept me for who I am and so will I...