My Humpty Hump is Gone!

When I started gaining my weight, I never really paid attention to it.  I don’t know how, but it seems like one day, I was thin, energetic and happy and the next day I was over three hundred pounds, fat, and miserable and asking the question, “how did I get this way”?  I don’t know.  But, one thing that literally grew on me besides my weight was this hump on my booty!  I HATED it!  No matter what I did, the hump stayed there.  It never moved.  In fact, my mother jokingly called the hump and my booty “shelter from the storm!”

While being on this journey with Dr. Andrea, I think I told you that I didn’t want to stay in the states to complete this amazing adventure.  I wanted to travel to different countries and I’m doing that.  For the New Year, I had the opportunity to travel to France to work on me.  Discover different parts of the world, learn more about me and work on my physical attributes.  In France, I was able to visit Nice, Monaco and St. John Cap Ferrat.  First, let me tell you, as a single woman, Monaco is calling my name to have a 2^nd home.  That place is absolutely incredible!  Dr. Andrea, Dr. Mike Dow and I practically walked that entire little city and every aching step of a 300 pound woman appreciated every minute of that walk!  It was gorgeous.  The architecture, the food, the scenery, the dwelling of Princess Grace, the church where she was married and buried was breath taking.  Every adventure we embarked upon, we walked.  The only time we traveled by car or train was to go to and from different cities.

In the midst of my travels, I never really focused on the fact that I was losing weight.  I say this because before my adventure to France, Dr. Andrea had me on a medical food plan called Medifast.  It’s an amazing weight loss food plan, not a diet.  If you’re interested in losing weight and learning how to eat better for life, this is a great beginning.  When I first left for France, there had been a really bad snow storm on the East Coast which made my flights a bit hectic.  I missed a connecting flight to Nice from New York, so I had to fly to Paris instead.  The airline misplaced my bags during the journey and in my bags was all of my Medifast food, so while I was in France the 1^st week, I had to go back to just eating regular healthy foods.  I thought all the weight that I lost previously with Medifast was going to slow down or come back.  But, what I began to notice is that with the walking all over France, I was continuing to lose weight.  In fact, when I stepped out of the shower, there was this gigantic mirror from floor to ceiling in the bathroom, so you couldn't miss ANYTHING.  I noticed that the hump, the “shelter from the storm” was diminishing very quickly!  Really!  I started dancing naked in the bathroom!   I couldn’t believe what I saw!  My hump was finally leaving me! 

It may not seem very symbolic to the average person, but to me and to all of those other women out there who may have humps on the booty, you know what I’m talking about!  Putting on a pair of “granny panties” that would fit your booty and your hump!  Trying on those jeans you’ve wanted to try on for so long and as you get them up on your booty, you start smiling thinking they’re going to fit, but then you struggle to get them up over the hump and realize that they really don’t fit.  Or, the worst, wearing a cute shirt and then having to bend over because you dropped something or have to tie your shoes and that shirt just flies up on your back and exposes the hump!  Ugh! 

For years, I would stand in the mirror dreaming about how I could go and get an ax and just chop the hump off of my booty.  Or, get one of those machines that we saw growing up in the 70’s in the television show, “The Three Stooges” where they could wrap a cloth rope around your back and press a button and you just stood there while the rope would shake your fat away!  Either way, the hump was leaving! 

Now, since I’ve been back in the states and working out with my trainer, Stephan Atkins, owner of True Definition Fitness, he’s had me jogging – me – jogging – for the 1^st time in 20 years!  When I look in the mirror now, guess what, the hump is GONE!!!!  YES!!!

Don’t get me wrong, I have long way to go.  The booty is still big, but at least I don’t have the hump to haunt me anymore!  Can I get a Amen?!!!!!

A Kiss

What makes a kiss from the one you’re in love with so special?  The first time that I ever kissed a man, was actually a boy named Johnny in the second grade.  I’ll never forget it because I was wearing my Wonder Woman Underoos that day!  My mom was a teacher at my school and the principal of the school was like a godmother to me, so people were extremely very protective of me and there wasn’t too much I could get in to because the adults were watching.  I had a few select friends, one of them being Johnny and we would always hang out in my mom’s classroom after school.  This particular day, my mom was asked to bring Johnny home because his mom wasn’t feeling too good and wasn’t able to pick him up that day.  Johnny lived near me, walking distance.  I remember us getting out of the car and my mom was walking ahead of us towards our house while Johnny and I were walking behind her.  Johnny quickly grabbed my hand, gave me a kiss on the cheek and ran home!  I stood there, frozen!  I couldn’t believe what just happened!  Part of me was smiling while the other part of me wanted to punch Johnny in the arm!  My mom had to snap me out of my cold spell and make me come in the house. 

We lived in an apartment on the 2^nd floor.  This particular evening, my Mom & Dad were packing so we could go to North Carolina.  While I was watching Sesame Street and playing with my favorite doll, Tara (you could make her hair short by twisting the knob in her back or pulling on her hair to make it long again – that just shows you how old I am) and there was a knock at the door.  It was Johnny.  He and I both collected Archie Comic Books and he had a new one for me.  As he was walking back down the steps to go back outside, I peeked around the door and called him.  When he looked back, I blew him a kiss and he blew one back!  I WAS SMILING!!!

But seriously, I love kissing.  I think kissing is probably one of the most intimate, beautiful, sexiest forms of affection.  A lot can be communicated with a kiss.  You don’t have to talk.  Just pucker up!  I would love to have a man that I really wanted to have that connection with pull me close, caress my face ever so gently, stare me in my eyes and lure me in slowly for that light, barely touching lips kiss.  Feeling his breath on mine and just keeping my eyes closed because the kiss is so good that I feel like I’m in another world.  Or, the kiss that happens when you’re in the midst of passion and you know you’re about to handle your business and he kinda pushes your back up against the wall while he’s pushing up on you and you pull him close.  The kiss is hot, steamy and all over the place!  Whew!  I need to stick my head in the freezer for the moment!    

The reason I say that I would love to have that connection with a man is because I’ve never had that connection with a man!  I mean, I’ve definitely kissed men before (not a lot – just a few), but it didn’t mean anything.  It was just a gesture.  They weren’t really into kissing me.  They just did it to get it over with.  As you can tell, I really didn’t appreciate myself back then or the choice of men that were in my life, but all of that has changed!  I would love to have a man that I am interested in to scoop me in and plant one on me or let me take the lead and go in for the lusciousness! 

A kiss means so much.  I’m ready for it.  I guess when it’s time, I hope to have this fantasy fulfilled.  I just have to have the right man to do it with!